Tuesday, December 30, 2008
why do I live here?
Today since stupid me has neglected our pantry and stomachs for well over 2 weeks I had to venture out to grocery shop. I was behind a snow plow on the polk city road and he must have accidently hit the button to release the blade because down it went and hit a block of ice snow and then proceeded to swerve all over the road and I so thought he was going to tip. It was scary. He pulls over and I go past thankful to get away from the overworked this season snow plower who obviously needs to learn to watch what the heck he is doing. We then get to Walmart and somehow spend THREE hours in there and walk out with $200 of groceries. We bundle up Ellie and I put my hood up on my hoodie, I did not bring in my wither coat since it was 35 at least and a winter coat would have jsut been too much. that in itself shows how stupid it is here in Iowa if we think we no longer need winter attire when we think 3 degrees above freezing is nice. We step out and I cannot even control the stinking cart. It was so windy and so bitter cold that just unloading groceries into the van was enough to take my breath away. We had to sit for almost fivwe minutes for me to get my breath back. The whole time I was asking myself why we live here. It really is not the place for us.
And now under my blanket in my house I reflect why I truly stay miserable in this place called Iowa. The Number 1 reason is my family. I have lived in one town my ENTIRE life and it would be so hard to leave. 99% of my family lives here in Iowa and at least 80% of them in my same small town. Although sometimes it would be nice to get away from it all, I would miss being able to walk to my sisters house, drive to see my mom, and miss out on all the family functions. I know as long as we stay here I have 20 people waiting in line to babysit, all of whom I can trust. If I ever need anything they are right there to swoop in to help, and I would miss them
I CANNOT imagine Ellie and the new baby not growing up to be a Madrid Tiger. I mean is there really any other school I would want my child going to? Could I honestly cheer for a different mascot? and we all know I do not colors that are not Black and Orange, plus what would I do with the 7 hoodies that proclaim my high school? It may seem stupid to some but I still am proud to have been a part of that and pride goes a long way.
And lastly another reason I am here and more than likely will always be is Iowa. After visiting many areas of this great nation I have come to realize that although I have to livein extreme hot and humid or cold and snowy, the people here are worth it. People just are friendly. Our crime rate is low, my children can ride their bikes without me worrying, it is safe to play outside, or up the street. And unlike California (sorry Cindy) our seasons change, the leaves change color, we have snow days, and mostly there is snow on Christmas. Although it is frustrating at times, there really is no place like home.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
singing time
This is our latest. Barney has rubbed off on both of us and all we ever do is sing! LOL Excuse the HORRIBLE voice you hear singing, who knows who let that crazy person sing, but Ellie loves the actions and cant get enough!
Notice her lips moving but nothing coming out. she wants to sing so bad, but just cant quite get the words, besides hooray! It cracks me up. No matter where we are and there is music on the lips move. Enjoy
Friday, October 31, 2008
Big girl bed
Trick or Treat
Night Eyes
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
To Remember Our Angel
Tommorrow is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I encourage all to light a candle tomorrow at 7 pm in memory of all those who have loved and lost a baby. There is not a day goes by that I do not think of the baby that we never got to meet. I often wonder if it was a girl or boy, who it would have looked like, and what a great friend a sibling would have been for Ellie. It hurts me to know that Ellie was not meant to be the oldest yet that is what she will always be known to be. Still after three plus years the pain is there. Yet I know and appreciate so much what I have with Ellie. I found this poem last year and only another who has lost can understand the full impact.
People noticeThere's a special glow around you.
You growSurrounded by love,Never doubting you are wanted;Only look at the pride and joyIn your mother and father's eyes.
And if sometimesBetween the smilesThere's a trace of tears,One dayYou'll understand.
You'll understandThere was once another childA different childWho was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothesThat child will never keep them up at nightIn fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,When mother and father miss so muchThat different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmlyAnd may you learn the lesson foreverHow infinitely preciousHow infinitely fragileIs this life on earth.
One day, as a young man or womanYou may see another mother's tearsAnother father's silent griefThen you, and you aloneWill understandAnd offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,You will tell themWith great compassion,"I know how you feel.I'm only hereBecause my mother tried again."
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Pumpkin Patch
I love how they always walk together. Lets just say they better get married becasue we have oodles and oodles of pics of them growing up together. One of Thomas first clear words was Ellie (so cute!) so I think taht is a sign!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Thankful
1) My husband who loves me and tells me that everyday
2) My daughter whose hugs and kisses make the days seem brighter
3) The rest of my extended family
4) For having the freedom to be able to celebrate my faith
5) A house we to live in and a car to drive
6) The great opportunity to get to stay home with Ellie
7) Having enough money to get by, not a lot extra but enough which is more than a lot of people right now
8) Jayce finally using the potty almost all the time!
9) My friends who do have kids and understand the worries of being a mom
10) My friends who do not have families of their own yet that they do not forget me
Monday, September 29, 2008
cRaZy week
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
We walk to remember...
Our angel Charlotte Jo. On Sunday we walked in Ames at the Walk to Remember. It was put on by the Compassionate friends which is a group of people who have lost children at any age. Annie made a new shirt for us and they turned out great. there will be another walk at Mercy in October.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Playing Dress Up
Monday, September 1, 2008
Fun Weekend
Friday, August 29, 2008
Pee on the Potty!
We (I) am NOT pushing it but if she wants to sit I will put her on. Hopefully she will continue to be easy and by the time she hits 2 No more diapers!!!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The past two days have been exciting for us. Jayce is potty training and is now interested mroe in going in the big potty (toilet) over the potty chair so when we go in to potty ellie has decided she wants to sitr on the little potty. After a few days of just letting her sit I decided to take her diaper of and let her try it. To our suprise She went! I know it was a fluke and all but still bery excting! She now trys taking her diaper off everytime we go in the bathroom to sit on the potty. I am just going to follow her lead and let her do it. I wasnt planning on even introducing the potty til January but if she is interested we are going for it!
The other thing she did was growl like a tiger. Jayce and I were growling like tigers a feww days ago and Ellie thought it was so funny! the next day I asked Jayce what a tiger says and Ellie growled! It was just so cute and she does it consistently. I caught a video of it today. Of course when I get teh camera out she does not look at me. IT still is cute though!