Thursday, February 18, 2010


Here i am trying to make my life better and on the very second day of Lent I feel yuck! I am trying but I just have a negative outlook on things. So I am going to get out all my complaints so I can forget about them.

I am so SICK of the snow. I love Iowa the change of seasons, the people, and not beign cramped. But seriously, the snow can stop. We currently have snow in our yard up to ellies armpits. Now how are we ever supposed to even try to play in it when it would just bury her. I desperately need to get outside and soak up the sun but we cant. It is freezing all the time and it seems like it is just one snowstorm after another. In all seriousness i told Jess to start looking for jobs somewhere warmer. I say this all the time but I honestly mean it. I am so sick of this weather and I feel that spring will be skipped over here because 1)it will take the snow forever to melt and 2)once it melts we will be having major flooding everywhere. And then to top it all off the past 2 days the sun has been shining but opening my curtains causes me the greatest headaches from the reflection of that wonderful sun of the blanket of snow. UGH!!!

Because they have been cooped up inside for months now Jayce and Ellie have their outside voicesinside ALL the time. It wakes up Hadley, gives me a headache, and just irritates me. But really can you blame them since the last time they got to play outside it was OCT!

My house is cluttered. There is junk everywhere. I want to start over. Get rid of everything and only get the necessities. I really plan on doing this but honestly I cannot get motivated.

It has been one year exactly now since I have scrapbooked. You cannot even see my table under the piles of junk. Jess is always gone working or football (which is already starting to irritate me and it is just starting) and I have no time to do the things I want. When he is home I feel like I should be hanging out as a family. I just cant win.

I am in a rough spot right now with my job. I am just not feeling like it is what I should be doing anymore. For all the reasons I took the job are slowly being taken away one at a time. But leaving is not the best interest of the church right now and I just dont know what to do.

Im sure there is much more that are on my complaints list but this is what is heavily weighing on my mind right now.

On a much happeier note at Ash Wednesday mass last night the sermon was on bettering your life during lent. He spoke how there are 3 steps to do it. a) Take an inventory of my life; b) Make amends; c) Make a difference!

I know there are many things I can change to make my life better and I feel i have a good grasp on step 1. Step 2 making amends is what hit me in the face. Part of me is holding on to anger that I need to let go to better me. I need to stop and realize that forgiving and forgetting will help me grow. You do these things for yourself not for the person you are forgiving. And lastly I am left to think on how I can make a difference this lenten season and everyday after.

1 comment:

Ruth Ann said...

I am totally with you on the hatred of the snow and being cooped up.

Joe is working a lot of hours now too since he got makes it hard to be LITERALLY in your house all day with the kids and then have very little adult time. It's got to be hard on the guys too, though, to be away from home so much.

Let's have a playdate.